Thursday, 13 November 2014

Infant Cannibalism Ritual for Thanksgiving?

As much as I hate to give Monsanto ideas for their future product ranges, but US crafts websites aimed at Middle America have long been a barometer, allowing me to quantify the state of society, as what happens in Kansas, comes to all of us in time. The Bible Belt's cultural landscape is always perfectly represented by the sheer bizarreness of the projects and ideas these people present on their craft sites and blogs. 

For example, this unique demographic were so into the mass hysteria over the Royal Wedding a few years back, that their blogs and craft sites were filled with how to make everything from the Royal Wedding Carriage in sugar, to having a royal wedding theme barbecue in Carmel, Indiana with the entire family dressed as the Royal wedding party to celebrate the occasion. Including a Prince Philip in military uniform. I kid you not.

Once in a while, the people behind these sites up-the-ante, and outdo themselves reaching new levels of mass psychosis represented in fabric and glitter sprinkles. The Angel Ornaments made from Tampons, took some beating, but as Native American Genocide Feast approaches, we have a new contender for the most crazed crafts project yet. Which also brings up some disturbing insights into the minds of the people who would find such a thing 'adorable'.

May I present, the Thanksgiving Baby Roast Turkey Costume. One wonders if Prince Philip is being invited over for dinner. I jest, of course. Well, a little.
'Extra Baby Shit Stuffing with Natural Gravy anyone?

The blurb says it all: "Dress your baby in this roast turkey costume for a truly memorable Thanksgiving! Use this turkey Thanksgiving craft to learn how to sew a costume for your child to wear. When you bring our your baby dressed in this adorably goofy ensemble, your Thanksgiving guests will be so surprised and impressed by your handiwork (presumably, before they call the local psychiatric clinic to see if you have escaped). You could also make this turkey costume as a fun and quirky DIY Halloween costume. This hilarious and adorable DIY costume is sure to be talked about for years to come." (mainly by criminal psychologists no doubt)

1 comment:

  1. That is just utter insanity, it runs along the same lines as the "Baby in the Microwave" photos parents seem to love taking.. I shutter to think...