Sunday, 19 January 2014

British Royalty's Swan Fetish

David Barber, MVO, appointed in 1993 - Marker of the Queen's Swan

It must come as enormous comfort to the poor, elderly, disabled and impoverished on the United Kingdom who were recently 'subject' to a further £25 Billion reduction in social welfare, that in these times of sacrifice some important services are retained. One such vital public service which has been safeguarded is Her Majesty's Marker of the Swans.

This important role dates back to the Middle Ages and was previously known as The Keeper of the King's/Queen's Swans of the Royal Household of the Sovereign of United Kingdom. The position was also once called the King's/Queen's Swanmaster.

Among the vital services provided by the Queen's Swan Marker is the yearly sacrifice ritual of Swan Upping on the River Thames were some swan minding his/her own business is killed and served as a meal to the Royal Family. Although in recent times the taste for swan meat has waned among the German in-bred Immigrants who now use the slaughtered and cooked swan as an uneaten table centrepiece. How charming.. 

Apart from the Swan Upping slaughter ritual, The Queen's Swan Marker advises organisations throughout the UK about swan welfare (the ones not being cooked in Buckingham Palace that is) with fishing and boating organisations. The Queen's Swan Marker also works closely with swan rescue organisations and supervises the rescue of sick and injured swans (who might be saved in order to be cooked for the Queen when they recover). 

He administers the capturing of swans from stretches of the River Thames who might cause problems swimming in front of the Henley rowing regatta as members of the Cambridge Socialist Workers Party chant "Ra-Ra-Ra!" and take a much needed break from spying on activists, running smear campaigns, making false sexual misconduct claims and destroying working class 'guttersnipes' who might be a real danger to the establishment.

In this age of cut-backs and austerity it's a wonderful thing to see there is no 'swan song' for this vital profession.



3 comments:

  1. Interesting ... my psychopath has a thing for swans.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Can't let go a private government paid employee when he/she's promised a lifetime of work even though there may be no work.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Can't let go a private government paid employee when he/she's promised a lifetime of work even though there may be no work.

    ReplyDelete