I suppose it's a redundant exercise at this point as there are already so many analogies and metaphors out there already to generate a conceptual understanding of the hidden predator behind the psychopath's social mask. Even so, I was looking at a recent film about icebergs for an art project I am currently working on, and the iceberg seems a very fitting metaphor indeed.
That being, what's below the surface is where the majority of the psychopath's consciousness resides just waiting to sink your ship should you stray to close - or more likely, lured towards - to be charmed towards the resident penguins, basking seals and fuzzy polar bears basking on the pristine surface.
The more I look at the psychopathic issue, the more I have come to see that in a behavioural sense the most defining trait of all is their complete inability to say 'sorry' or give an apology for their behaviour, or what they have done. It is the supreme marker I think.
- They ignore as if the act never happened.
- Give a begrudging apology and continue to do the same thing again
- They might say 'Sorry YOU are feeling this way..." but this puts the responsibility back on you
- They might fob you off with a Jesus, Gurdjeff, Winston Churchill or some other pointless speech or fragment of scripture they picked up along the way. This is so you know they are too 'wise' to give you an apology.
- They will blame their mother, father, all their exs and eventually YOU for the catastrophe they created.
Failing all of the above, they will run a industrial-level, all-out and HIGHLY PERSONAL smear campaign against you, so you end up having to defend your own humanity while they are off being 'wise' and creating more engineered hysteria.
The apology will never be forthcoming. It's a trait, I find more and more profoundly indicative of the psychopathic mindset than any other trait. Saying 'sorry' is not the hardest thing...they simply can't do it. Look for this trait and pay careful attention to those who seem incapable of an apology for the harm they have done to others.
Only Psychopaths Run Very Personal Smear Campaigns and Only Toxic Co-Dependent Types Become Consumed with Very Personal Hatred and Jealousy and then Expect a Pay-Off.
Dealing with Both: No Contact Ever Again.
Your Apathy Exposes Them for What They Are.