John List. Superdad. (an extreme case study)
Until it was time to 'Move On.'
"I love my children more than life itself...(because they are MINE, for now.)"
Psychopaths—regardless of playing Super Parent for the masses—generally find their children a pain and a drain on their time and attention since they really don't want them for anything except power and control over the other parent or to take care of the psychopath in their old age.
Many people who were raised by psychopathic parents, along with the reports of people who had children with a psychopathic spouse constantly report the same experience: that the psychopath shows little or no direct meaningful and nurturing interest in their children. They will however, proclaim to all and sundry what magnificent parents they are even when it is obvious to all around them that they have either an neglectful, abusive or even sexual interaction with their own offspring.
THE REVISIONIST PSYCHOPATHIC PARENT
Your psychopath parent who may have abused and neglected you as a child may—years later when you are an adult and in front of others—glibly claim that you were 'spoiled' and were 'treated like a little prince or princess' when you were under their care. It will be stated in such a way that you are somehow not grateful for this, or unaware of how lucky you were to have such a magnificent parent. You have memories of none of this and can only recall being deprived proper care and parenting along with long periods of abuse and neglect.
Because they have heard the story repeated so many times growing up, younger members of the family may then begin to validate your psychopathic parent's version of your own personal history. You then begin to wonder if you imagined all the abuse and neglect. Having no witnesses other than the psychopathic parent further compounds your self-doubt while validating the psychopath's lies and fabrications. These abusive parents may even go on to champion themselves publicly as defenders of children's rights and welfare as their own abused child or children looks on in disbelief.
THE "BENEVOLENT" PSYCHOPATHIC FATHER
In any household where the father figure is a psychopath he will be constantly alluding to 'how lucky his children are that he puts food on the table and clothes on their backs'. A non-psychopathic father will just feed and clothe his children as a simple aspect of normal human behaviour and parental obligations, and won't demand his children 'worship his benevolence for keeping them alive'. The psychopathic father will foster and enforce a form of distorted gratitude within his children that they are very lucky that he does not let them starve to death and it is only his goodness which prevents them from starving...
It is also not uncommon with a psychopathic father to implement the silent treatment on a target child who is not 'playing the game' to the requirements of their deranged patriarchal self-glorifying agenda. This can happen if the child starts getting wise to the fact the psychopathic father figure is not the glorious, infallible domestic hunter-gatherer godhead they view themselves as being. When the psychopathic father suspects they are not unconditionally worshipped by the child they will most likely perceive this as a threat or an attempt to 'usurp the throne'. The child then becomes a target of the psychopath and will thus be declared 'a liability' within the family structure and given the silent treatment, usually during the most emotionally-sensitive and insecure stages of their teenage years when they are the most psychologically vulnerable.
This sometimes leads to the distraught child turning to drugs or committing suicide, precisely what the psychopathic parent wanted when they implemented the silent treatment —particularly on a teenage son or daughter. The psychopath can then play the grieving parent in order to further their agendas with others in future.
Thomas Sheridan is the author of the books Puzzling People, Defeated Demons and The Anvil of the Psyche: all are considered vital manuals for personal and social survival is a world controlled by lunatics. These books have evolutionasied thousands of people to build a firewall around their own psyche and not to be lured into handing over ones independence to a fake collective. As a result, his NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN philosophy has made Thomas an enemy of powerful media corporations, Fabian political interest groups, mind-controlled death cults and neo-Nazi fringe groups.
This is my father Down to a 'T' he didn't speak to me for nearly 2 yrs in my early teens even though we lived in the same house, l was also ignored on the street.
ReplyDeleteI was a threat to him because l knew he wasn't 'right in the head' I,d also been to the drs with severe bruising/black eye....he knew l,d told the authorities including the police.
Nobody did anything but he knew so my life was at risk......the silent treatment was extremely cruel and l know it led on to severe issues of being seen and heard!
I,'ve chosen to have no contact ever again with this man.
Good 4 u Mags. My father was the same. These "people" belong to at least 5% of the population that are clones of Satan. Know your enemy (predator/vampire) and avoid them like the plague. We should only tolerate them in so far as they were born like this the same way someone is born with blue eyes for eg. They can't help the way they are and that is why we need to understand them to avoid them.
Deleteno offense, but methinks you're conflating the psychopath with the narcissist.
ReplyDeleterelated characteropaths, certainly. but not always the same kind of thing, in practice.
requiring worship for normal acts, claiming benevolence not in evidence, having the child either be a reflection or extension of the parent's ability to achieve some kind of adulation (this includes variants of Stage Mommy/Daddy From Hell, as well) = narcissist. silent treatment because you didn't 'live up to expectations' in some way, by your performance or by your worshipful regard, come in here. so, either 'be perfect & do what I want--worship me directly or earn me esteem, or hit the road, kid' would be normal.
psychopaths actually just don't care about others, and are willing to transgress over them like objects. so yeah, I would expect the distant avoidance thing when they don't require anything of you. the sexual abuse and sadism thing, and the laughing at humiliating you thing. generally, it's going to be pretty obvious that the psychopath doesn't care, and will either abandon the kid unless they're getting something by keeping the kid around (money, useful sympathy from others, etc.)
general behavior of alternately using, abusing and neglecting the kids=could be either one or neither. a lot of people have really fucked up parents themselves, and do not learn how within their own childhood to have a caring, productive and emotionally satisfying relationship with another person, least of all their own kid who requires so much of them and is basically helpless without them.
characteropaths should not breed at all, and the screwed up types should be smart enough not to inflict the same bullsh!t they experienced in their own lives on another living being.
My father was a psychopath, *is* a psychopath. He's the kind of a brainy ones. Since I found out in April this year, me being 35 years old, my brain works so fast rebuilding each moment of my life from the new perspective. It's something I cannot stop. Memories come suddendly and my head present them one as the "new" reality, the reality hidden behind all his lies for so many years.
ReplyDeleteNow I understand so many things of an unbelievable cruelty.
The treatment silent is called, right? Well, that did it to me so many times. The last time was when I had to ask him for some money because I was in a desperate situation. He finally gave me the money, but not without the humilliation. Of course, he also said afterwards that if I needed even more or any help, I just had to ask him and he would do anything... ............. No comments...
One of the most traumatic experiences was when I was working abroad, earning little money and desperate because at home with my parents it was hell, and one of my workmates lost control and hurt me at the working shift, for a silly reason. I was so scared that I went to my room to cry desperately and I told the manager I wouldn't work with him any more. I needed to talk to someone so I phoned my father to tell him about what happened. Guess what did he do. He shouted at me saying there's no reason on eath to talk like that to a manager. That NEVER talk to a manager like that otherwise I would be in serious trouble. Meaning all the time I did the wrong thing and that I was some kind of stupid. He, of course, didn't even ask about my arm, if I was ok or if I was really harmed. Nothing. So there, in a foreign country, completely alone, hurt by a crazy guy with no prove, and none to talk about it. I don't know if I was more scared of my workmate or of going back to my house in my country with my family.
Of course, I still hear that: "There's no better place like home, with your family."
And of course I started taking drugs a while afterwards. I also tried to commit suicide, unsuccesfully. I just don't know how I have managed to get away from that hell.
I had imsonmia for a year and half: no sleep at all. Luckily now I managed somehow to leave all that behind. I found a very good psychologist who didn't know very much about psychopaths, but she knew that it was completely necessary to rewrite my brains. She did a very good work, it was a little bit... kind of an exorcism I have to say. I have told about this to other psychologists and they don't believe me..... that's so sad....
There's something.. after I tried to kill myself, psychiatrists told me to take some drugs I needed ?? So I took them for some time. What happened after that it's that I had some side effects. It would be like a sudden disconnection of my brains, for less than a second everything gets dark. It is very fast, no time to feel dizzy. With years I feel it less often, but it is something really scary.. All his fault!!!!!
That sounds fucked up bro. You need to start working out so these kinds of dudes don't even try it. Do 1 set of press ups to failure every day and you'll be strong in no time. And forget your father.....obvious psychopath bro. Peace.
DeleteGreat article! It matches very well my family, but in my case where you read father, insert mother. 'How lucky her children are that she puts food on the table and clothes on their backs'... was my full time working and emotional absent mother's mantra. Besides that she gave absolutely nothing else but abuse, humilliation and a dysfunctional upbringing. She was the one that controlled everyone, worked and funded the whole perfect family charade. A monster in disguise.
ReplyDeleteMy father is a power hungry psychopath. Let me tell you about this delusional piece of shit He is divorced because my mother kicked him out of the house by having him arrested after years of psychical, mental and emotional abuse. (Don't even get me started on my mother as she maybe a sociopath herself but that's another story) He spent the next 20 years living off the welfare system accomplishing nothing. He refused to pay child support because he couldn't get a manager position from the start even though he has no experience whatsoever. He has a horrible relationship with his kids as he being the psychopath that he is only likes you if he can control you. He constantly talks about how he hates everyone and the country yet those tax payers are the ones who are paying his bills for him. I have never met anyone so delusional in my life. He has fooled his psychiatrist into thinking that he is depressed so that he doesn't have to look for a job and just drains money from hard working people. The biggest hypocrite you will ever meet like how are you going to talk down about other people when your life turned out so shit. Its actually scary the little world he has created for himself. I would never allow my children of family to be around this evil person. He talks so much shit about my mother and sister then calls them up 2 mins later to talk to them like their his best friends its really crazy and two faced.I'm pretty sure they know what he is cause they are targets of his explosive anger and cut off contact for a while then he worms his way back into their life like the snake he is. He tells lies about me to make me look bad to others. I thank God everyday that I am nothing like him, To whoever is going through something similar the best advice I can give you is if you have a choice cut off contact completely. These type of people are not happy unless others are just as miserable as they are. Their hearts and minds are filled with hatred and evil masked with superficial fake charm.
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm just sitting here going, maybe I'm not alone in the world. I'm 56 (old right?). Not so fast. I feel completely uncomfortable around adults and my best friends are always much younger than I. I didn't get it until last year when I heard somewhere that you get stuck at an age of some abuse. Sadly, I don't remember ever NOT being abused. My earliest memory is my psycho Air Force dad sending me outside to stand in public with a diaper on to shame me for having an accident. I absolutely think I was 3 or younger. I hid behind a shed at the back of the carport, and when family friends drove up...that is where the memory ends. I was beaten and/or emotionally abused my entire life by this man until I cut him out of my life 2 years ago. We were so scared of him, but he would occasionally call us in to stand in front of him while he asked us why we did it. We would say we hadn't done anything and he would say yes you did, now tell me! This was in his loud, deep, angriest voice and we just knew we were going to get the belt. I remember almost passing out from fear. All the sudden he would break into loud laughter and say he was just messing with us. Sicko? I'll say. There's too much, but through the intimidation, beatings, screaming, shaming, kicking, etc., all 4 of us came out great adults, but myself, the only girl, with a lot of anxiety and depression. My marriages & relationships lead me directly to these kind of men. To the outside world, they are so charming. Inside, they are the spawn of satan. As a teenager I'd babysit almost every night and save my 50 cents an hour to get something or do something. My evil dad would sneak in my room in the mornings searching for my money. He would belittle whatever it was I told him I was saving for and take it anyway. He would send us to a room to lean over the bed in anticipation of a belting, but sometimes just leaving us there for hours petrified. As adults, he has torn down verbally anything good we've ever done or just not acknowledged it. He bought a fifth wheel and parked in a recreational area of our state about 4 yrs ago, and when I accidentally found out, he actually said he didnt tell anyone so he didn't have us coming down bothering him. Two years ago he told my brothers the worst lies. He told them I said these awful things about them and that led to over a year of estrangement between them and me. That's when I cut him off. I was so thankful texting had been invented because I let him have it with both guns and told him I would spit on his grave if I ever came across it. Can you believe that might be 1% of my story? There is so much. He is a fine member of the Masons, always bragging about how much he does for those poor kids at the Shriners Hospital, as if this is redeeming himself or more likely just to make people think he's a great guy. I'm here to tell all of you that I have never felt peace in my life until I cut him off. And when thoughts of him creep in, I say to myself, oh yeah, I don't have to think about him anymore. This, I believe is the only way to handle these fathers or mothers. Walk away. They are the dark spirits of this earth, I'm convinced. Sorry so long, and I'm not going back to check my phone typing, so don't judge! :-) Peace and love to all of you reading this. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteA psychopath exercises despotic "control" over his/her family. They start with their spouse. Using the children as leverage to destroy the spouse emotionally, psychologically and financially.Always sexually deviant. Polygamy common among them.
ReplyDeleteWill use crime and threats if they can to bully, intimidate the cult members into absolute obedience and slavery.
Undetectable to society. Prosocial antihumans. Pure evil snakes.
Extremely cold, calculated and criminally versatile, unlike most narcissists.
Their biological children due to the chronic abuse, CRIME, threats, gas lighting and trauma invariably end up as either C-PTSD or give up and decide to become a "mini-me" version of their evil MK Ultra handler. The latter become narcissists and malignant narcissists. (The worst case scenario is if the child of a psychopath is ALSO a genetic psychopath, more common with female psychopathic parents. Then everyone around will basically be destroyed pretty quickly as the two laugh their asses off)
Both kind of victims basically loose hope and belief in themselves and decide to believe in the psychopath's distorted version of reality in which he/she is a malignant all powerful caretaker that hurts and uses them, but "protects" them from an equally "selfish" world.
These victims generalize alot. As my parent is psychopathic, everyone must be the same and this is used by the psychopath to validate the maltreatment.
If you are a biological child of a psychopath, just remember you are not alone. You are NOT like them and yes, the world has other psychopaths and narcissists as well but you cannot expect any sort of "protection" from a rapid dog who is hell-bent on destroying your individuality and "owning" you like an object of their sadistic desires.
Psychopaths destroy anyone instrumentally that gets too closes to their little bubble universe. But they destroy family and especially their children with special glee, malice and vengeance if they try to escape them(they do it anyway, even if they stay obedient) as being as ridiculously entitled as they are , they feel like they own them. Like a car or a piece of land. That is all we are to them. An object or toy to be played with.
People in the internet, say you can recover from psychopathic abuse in childhood. But nothing is written about the worst kind of abuse were both parents are psychopaths, and they get everybody to Play along their World, and their fixasion on extreme emotional abuse of their only kid. Emotional mass rape ore incest. And in Denmark you are alone. Ore maybe everywhere cause this degree of abuse "does not exist.
ReplyDelete